How is my suit so poorly fitting..

I mean I thought it looked good a few months ago. I’m so unhappy about how i look in a suit. well.. in the suit i own. I should get some properly fitting suits, along with some properly fitting pants and some nice shirts. I cannot believe how shitty i look in the suit. It’s just baffling.. I thought i looked really good in a suit. 

I guess I have a weird bodyshape now. I need broader shoulders.

Maybe it’s the dick that hasn’t had much pussy talking but i really want to know how you’re doing. I got really sick yesterday. exactly the same sickness i felt on last year’s victoria day. I remember you stood by me and took care of me. You even kissed my pukey mouth. I never felt so much love for anyone.

I’ve been so overwhelmed with a feeling of desertion and chaos that I need some kind of a ground to keep me from breaking apart. I can’t count the number of times i stopped myself from searching you on facebook to see a picture of you. I see your sister is doing well… lol. I can’t really explain it but I think i’m hitting a new low. I’m taking backward steps that I know I can’t afford to take right now. I’ve put in too much time and effort to be losing right now. All of the risks and sacrifices… I’m feeling unhappy with my life right now and I need to change it. I’m going to do something differently tomorrow. I’ll win. Positive attitude got me this far. It’s powers are beyond what i can comprehend. I’ll trust in it.

Mom texted me today… The house got sold. So technically I’m homeless.

I’ve been on the internet a lot as of late. I should be out studying while hitting on girls. This is just something I need to do. Sitting in my lonely room watching romantic comedies is not a productive way to spend the day. I will be going out today. Shortly.

I don’t know why exactly but even as things happen, I’m not inspired to write about my daily adventures.

I’ve been half and half with the women goings so far. I haven’t really met someone and carried on something meaningful. Only at bars and clubs I met some girls and maybe kissed them or something. It makes you realize how meaningless a kiss is. It doesn’t matter whether you’re kissing them or not. All that counts is how personal of a connection you have with the other person. I need to develop a way to become a closer person to whoever I’m going for. I need to grow and develop. I have not been able to develop. My texting game is really weak. I’ve tried the calling thing but it doesn’t work out sometimes. I’m not as outgoing to get phone numbers either. I’m not proud of it but they’re just things I will work on as time progresses.

I’m going to re-think my whole and entire approach when it comes to women. I’ll write it all down on a page. maybe i’ll upload it here for the future me to see.

I hope I can improve and actually get something meaningful out of what I am doing. My academic career is being somewhat affected but I know I can just buckle down and get through it.

I will, in the next week, get a girl.

I made out with a girl at the bar. And kinda fingered her..
But unfortunately I number closed.. I didn’t know how to make it a thing where I walk her back to my place so we fuck. It’s a weird concept I have no idea how to close. I’m gonna work on that.

Changes will happen.

I will develop out of this pussy loser state into the winner that I am.

I’ve been way too passive for the past week. Time to switch up. BE ALPHA. NO FEAR.

alcohol is the world’s greatest cockblock. surem the energy and fearless mentality comes in handy when it comes to approaching girls but as soon as a conversation starts up, why the fuck do i sound like a weirdo? w.e no more drinking more than a beer when going out.

Everyday as of late is a day filled with thoughts of my ex. Without anyone to replace her with, I am stuck in a state of loneliness and despair. I want to grab a pretty girl and tell her I love her. I want to feel that love again. The only love I know is with that damned girl I used to call my love. Now she’s off doing her own exotic thing. I don’t really care what she’s doing. I would like to see her again. see how she’s doing. I don’t want to get back with her. I just don’t really know what I want. I want pussy. I WANT PUSSY AROUND MY DICK, ON MY MOUTH, DRIPPING ALL OVER MY FINGERS.

is that too much to ask?

I’m back at school starting a new chapter of what I like to call a new beginning in my life.

I’ve been taking way too many backwards steps lately. I’ve been having dreams of my ex and endlessly continuous thoughts of her. I miss her and I want to see her. Last time I moved into this room, I was with her. She was helping me carry my things in. 

It’s going to be different this term. I’m going to have women after women in this room. women after women on my bed. It’ll be great. I’m very excited. I’ll be busy but the effort i’m going to put into getting what I want/need is going to be tremendous. My hope for the next for the next four months is doubtlessly epic.

I’ll do my best to keep up with my game and everyday occurrences. It might even be just when I reach milestones. I hope I can continue with my lifestyle.

I’m sitting at a coffee shop. There were two ladies in their mid-late 20s beside me debating on whether to dump one’s boyfriend. what a bunch of thoughtless bitches. It really does suck for the dude. you might not really understand why it’s so crappy that she’s going to dump him. It happens all the time and if it doesn’t work, by all means. I’m just furious at how they handled it. The way they talked of him made him a villain. picking out the smallest things that make him an imperfect person. I personally don’t care about the guy but I hope all women take note. yes. we all talk about you behind our backs. though, it isn’t lady gossip. It’s not a public humiliation of the tiny things that went wrong. It isn’t a conversation about if he/she is good enough. They were talking about how they want to get married and the guy doesn’t. Why are you wasting your time? there is no need to debate and crucify a man for not wanting something like marriage. /rant over.

I am getting superbly lazy. I should continue writing on a regular basis. sadly to say, I’m only writing to procrastinate doing my report. ugh. one week to go.

I don’t feel myself progressing. Rather, I feel as though I’m getting a little bit socially awkward and by saying that, I think my psychological happiness is being compromised as my self esteem is absorbed by society. I don’t really know what’s wrong. Maybe I am not going out enough or maybe I’m just not pushing myself. I just need to find my limits. Mall game tonight. Thursday night Madison. Friday night Brunswick house. Saturday or Sunday date or Madison. We shall see

Im uninspired. I don’t feel great about my progress. No major breakthroughs.
I need to have some sex. I got a number from a girl that works at Starbucks. I have sort of been talking to her. We’ll see where that leads.. Today, no one has responded to my mid day texts.

I already know what to do. I just fear the negative consequences. NO FEAR! I will win tonight.